I just want to say it’s an honor to give my testimony. I come from a Nazarene background as I had a grandfather and grandmothers from both sides of my family become a pastor; as well my brother is working to become one himself.
I was raised in Oklahoma City and partly here in Indiana. I gave my life to the Lord when I was in sixth grade, at youth function at Indiana Wesleyan. From then on, it was an uphill battle. I was exposed to the world and many things I shouldn’t have been until later in my life. I even went to counseling. Some of the things that I learned in counseling were helpful, but I didn’t quite take it to heart as I should’ve.
As I continued to struggle with hardships I was blessed with a little boy this past February. He is now three months old. Even, though it wasn’t exactly in the plan before marriage, this experience has molded me and given me the desire to be a good mother. And, I have found that I can lean on the Lord for his guidance.
Last year, during the Ladies Retreat the theme, “Embrace Grace”, with Liz Curtis Higgs, I was about 19 weeks pregnant. I can still remember sitting there in the morning session, when most of us went to the front and put our little sticky note on the cross with our prayer request. It had been a long time since I really stopped and reflected on my next step of life. I knew that some how I had to grow up for the next part in my life. Even though I knew what I had to do; I hadn’t come entirely to terms with my life. This is the part that was the hardest for me.
Later on, after retreat, I went to a Jeff and Sheri Easter concert in Matthews and I remember them singing the song called “I need you more today”. This was the first time I ever heard it and it touched my heart. The song became my prayer song, as it talks about how we can’t always go through things without His help. And, that sometimes we need Him more today than we did the day before.
From the day of my baby’s delivery to today, this song has helped me. Sometimes I just need to come back to the center of His presence. Even though I may not always have it together, I am thankful that He comes through for me when I really needed it.